Picture this: you’ve got a cough, a little fever; you feel like you might need an antibiotic. You call your doctor, set up an appointment, and as he’s listening to your heart, taking your blood pressure, asking about your symptoms, he suddenly, apropos to nothing, asks, “So did I hear you’ve got an AR-15? How are you likin’ that baby?” As you wax on about your latest artillery acquisition, you note him smiling as he quietly makes notes in something that ain’t your medical chart.

Sound ludicrous? That’s because it is. But that isn’t stopping Tea Party mouthpiece, Senator Rand Paul (R-Ky) from flogging an already debunked conspiracy theory that Obama is going to “deputize” doctors to snitch on their gun-toting patients to government databanks.