Finally, someone said what I’ve been thinking, and wouldn’t you know, it’s Jon Stewart.

Stewart took to the airwaves this week to address the collective freak-out emanating from the right since the election, from petitions for secession to the dickish moves from CEOs who have threatened their employees with reduced hours – or worse, termination – over Obamacare.

Let’s start with the secessionists. Currently, there are several petitions floating around the White House petition site begging for states to be allowed to secede from the union over the election. Currently, the petition for Texas leads the pack (shocker!) with over 100,000 signatures: